Remembering....

As a young girl only five years of age, I had a heart for the world and all it held.  Africa and the mission field; all the small hands that I wanted to touch and feel; to share the love of Jesus that makes all things heal.  

Compassion was my dream.  I only wanted to be like Him.  A friend to all, one that picks you up when you fall down, that listens to all your questions, who loves with a love that drives out all your fears, who holds you close when you can't fight back the tears.  The difference I knew and understood that He made, was something I wanted to share; to give away. 

These visions never left me and at the age of 18 I set out on an journey.  I packed my bag less than a week after my high school graduation.  I boarded a plane with a bunch of strangers.  I marvel to myself, what took me so long, I loved this thing of flying.  No one would have guessed that this was my first time in the air, first time out of the country and first time this far away from home and mama and daddy.  

Africa awaited me and there was no slowing my heart down. 

Now fast forward, say 20 years later.    

I awoke this morning missing Africa.  What a strange thought.  It's been years since I really was reminded of her and how deeply she once was laid on my heart.  But everywhere I turn I keep hearing about this place and its playing once again on my heart strings.  

So I asked myself, Why?  And to this I found myself saying, God it's really You that I miss.  Seeing You in all those beautiful faces.  Being reminded of what my place is.  As a representation of what your love and your grace is. 

Then this twinge struck my heart.  God why does it take far away lands to remind me that This has always been the plan.  It doesn't start with Africa and it won't end with Africa either.  

It starts with me, daily conforming to your image, taking on your very nature.

There are needs all around me that I could walk blind to.  God, I don't want to be grieved by inadequacy, focusing on lack; for I know You and surely I know what it is to be kept.  Don't let me be foolish, make excuses and keep You to my self.  

Daily, wake me to the world around me.  Cause me to act more and more like myself.  The me you created, for such a time as this.  For Lord, you know what day it is and what plans you have made for me!  Cause me to know them as well.

Psalms 139

¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.

¹⁷ How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!^(E)

¹⁸ If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, [could I count to the end] I would still be with You.