I could tell you about my background, the places I've lived while growing up. I could tell you about my hobbies or passions or maybe the things I believe in. But the truth be told I'm not very good about talking about myself. I'm more of a you talk and I'll listen kind of girl.
I have allowed myself to feel small and insignificant most of my life. My strengths and my skills, I haven't taken for granted but I have assumed they are nothing spectacular because they have always been kinda first nature, just a part of my life.
But over the years, God has been dealing with me and dealing with how I see my self. And you know what, I am kinda unique and different. I have pondered many things about my life and the one constant is, I have always known or been aware of the presence of God in my life.
My grandma passed away this August and my mother gave me the honor of sharing what she had meant to me. I want to share with you the words God gave me to say as I spoke about her. They are insightful as to how the presence of God became very real to my life.
All of you got time, pleasantries and lots and lots of memories, of a dear, dear woman. Many of you, got to call for her and reach for her and revel in the love of a mama or grandma. You got to know her, in ways, that I can only dream of. I missed out on these things. But what I did get of her, I would not trade. I am a walking, talking, breathing example of this woman's faith. She didn't just believe in God but she believed in the power and the authority that she had been given. And she believed, in exercising it daily. I'm quite sure she had no reservations when she spoke life over my failing body. For she knew her God, she passionately and fervently pursued him. She positioned her self for His anointing and His favor. Thank God. Thank God she was a woman who knew all to well she was in need of a Savior. That she bowed her knee and her head in submission and gave Him all of her life. For blessed are we that we had her example and blessed are we that she knew our name, petitioned God to show us His love and His grace that we too might be saved. All honor and glory to Jesus for if there is one thing that she taught, it was that His name was to be praised. And there is no better way to honor her than to honor God with our lives each and every day.
As I laid at deaths door, slowly slipping away, she declared the word of God over death and the grave. She gathered all those present to stand. Stand in agreement, as they held hands and prayed. Believed for a miracle and watched as it took place. Her faith brought me life that day. May we all take courage and be so bold with our faith. May we seek to do great and mighty things in Jesus Holy and Precious Name.
I was a year old, hospitalized and had been given a death sentence. "No way she is going to make it through the night," the doctors said, "Call the family in to say goodbye." But they didn't know my grandma and they didn't know my God and the plans that He had for my life.
You see, I may not have had the perfect childhood, the best that money could buy. I may not have been included and made to feel like I belonged. I may not have been the life of any party or a key player in any big game. I may not have won any beauty contests or been the envy of anyone per say. I may not have earned a degree or gone on to be successful in the eyes of the world. I may not know a lot of things. However who I know and what I know about Him, nothing else could ever compare too.
I grew up with the knowledge that God had a plan for my life and this very knowledge has kept me. It's been my sword and my shield and my strong tower. It has cost me much but there is no price that I am not willing to pay because I know this Jesus and I know that He saves. I know that there is no situation, there is no circumstance that is beyond Him and His reach. And I know that He loves you just as much as He loves me.
Wouldn't you love to know what is significant about you, that God couldn't wait to speak you into existence? It is certainly a journey worth taking.
*And if you have read much of what has been written within my entries, you know I cried the whole way through the writing of this. I do hope His heart and my heart have shined through to the deepest parts of you.