Wednesday, December 12, 2012

It is never to late to start....

That feeling of I'm tired and I really don't want to do this morning, as I swung my feet from the layers of bedding and placed them on the cold floor, tried to overwhelm me and hold me from moving forward.  As the morning routine began, the evidence that I wasn't the only one feeling this morning dread, tracked its way from one end of the house to the other and followed us out the front door, leaving a little brown eyed girl in tears as she scurried her way past the car door and on to her classroom.  

At which point, I should have whispered, Lord give us new strength for today, since I was to busy hurrying towards a deadline that I failed to even consider it earlier before.  But I failed again and just kept going.  I have been fight with this feeling all morning, making myself more miserable as I breathe in unthankfulness and breathe out irritation and the lousy cycle doesn't end.

But I looked up from where I'm seated, out to the window and then further to its right.  There, sits a bookshelf of things dear to my heart and sitting at the top, is the dearest of them all.  A nativity.  Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus in her arms.  Only He isn't.  He is missing from her arms.  And the weight of this strikes me at once and I look at her and I think of me.  Her arms stretched out and cradled with longing for what they were meant to hold and my heart breaks at those very words and the tears, they come rolling down.

Why do I not surrender each day, with arms held out, cradled for what they were meant to hold?  

Mary I know your longing.  I know the emptiness in need of filling.  The void that can be felt to my core.  I know I need this Jesus, with the same sense your body labored, knowing He must to be brought forth.   

God once again, you know me and you know just what I need.  Thank you for the beauty you directed and slowed my eyes to see.  Thank you for the way that You never stop loving, the way you are continually extending Your grace and the way You teach me the power of my praise.

Are you missing Him?  Is there a place hollowed out in your center, molded, shaped just for Him?  Or maybe you feel the void and you just didn't know it is He that can fill it, He that that place was created for.
It is my prayer that we both find Him over and over again and learn to keep Him in that place that has been hallowed and carved out just for Him.

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