I talk to myself often. And I was just sitting here talking to myself once again. Frustrated that I haven't been writing and that all I seem to be doing these days is mumbling to myself.
So, I said to myself, literally, just start writing any thing that comes out or start writing your mumblings down. Just as soon as I began, my train of thought or ramblings stopped.
Now, this is really frustrating. Me not to be able to talk to myself, mumble and ramble on and on, may call for some serious help.
It's alright.
You can laugh at me because I often want to laugh at myself. Only laughing doesn't come easy and neither have the tears this last week or so.
Sporatic and jumbled. And this spinning round and around leaves no time to stop and be still or let it all out, I tell myself.
Isn't this the way of grieving? This flip flop of feeling to unfeeling and thoughts of having to keep moving only to find yourself stalled out.
But what happens when its life that you're grieving and not the loss of it, rather the living?
The way this world serves up abuse and hate and has a love affair with strife.
I just can't shake this heaviness, all the injustice and the ways that have been accepted as just being life. My heart hurts for those suffering and inflicted. It aches for the way that evil preys, binds, tears down and takes life.
Especially knowing it wasn't the life that He had planned. Knowing that He sent to us a Savior, a precious child, born in a manger. "The" Light of the World. Emmanuel- God with us.
I long for a life of abundance. Abundantly full of Him. And I long for this life for every man, woman and child, to know what it is to be loved and known and cared for by Him.
I will rejoice this season, but most of all I want to remember why He came.
So, I said to myself, literally, just start writing any thing that comes out or start writing your mumblings down. Just as soon as I began, my train of thought or ramblings stopped.
Now, this is really frustrating. Me not to be able to talk to myself, mumble and ramble on and on, may call for some serious help.
It's alright.
You can laugh at me because I often want to laugh at myself. Only laughing doesn't come easy and neither have the tears this last week or so.
Sporatic and jumbled. And this spinning round and around leaves no time to stop and be still or let it all out, I tell myself.
Isn't this the way of grieving? This flip flop of feeling to unfeeling and thoughts of having to keep moving only to find yourself stalled out.
But what happens when its life that you're grieving and not the loss of it, rather the living?
The way this world serves up abuse and hate and has a love affair with strife.
I just can't shake this heaviness, all the injustice and the ways that have been accepted as just being life. My heart hurts for those suffering and inflicted. It aches for the way that evil preys, binds, tears down and takes life.
Especially knowing it wasn't the life that He had planned. Knowing that He sent to us a Savior, a precious child, born in a manger. "The" Light of the World. Emmanuel- God with us.
I long for a life of abundance. Abundantly full of Him. And I long for this life for every man, woman and child, to know what it is to be loved and known and cared for by Him.
I will rejoice this season, but most of all I want to remember why He came.
He came to demonstrate
how man being full,
abundant,
and overflowing of God,
can live loved
and live love
and love to love
his God and his fellow man.
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