An Altar...

At this very moment I sit in a room of clutter; with very few possessions of my own to bring me comfort or to make me feel at home.  It also bears little resemblance to the serene, peaceful refuge it once was.  I spend my last wakeful moments and my dawning ones too, in this very room.  So much is and has been contemplated within these four walls.

Today has revealed to me why I am  here in this room once again.  I found myself here once before and it is time to find myself again.

Appearances change.  Circumstances change.  Things can be re-purposed.  However the core, of most things, does not change.

This room was established as an altar more than twenty years ago.  Many prayers and petitions have been uttered here.  But even still many more tears have fallen in this place.

The color of the walls, the furnishings, the fact that it’s partly used as storage for one of my daddy’s prized collections, really has no bearing on what this room is.  Just like our lives,  a lot of the things that are in them really have no bearing on what they were created for; what we were created for, what we were called or established for.

This room was always meant to be an altar for my life; long before this home was constructed or I was ever born.  This was all in the heart of God.  He prepared a place for me to meet with him, to cry out for and to him.  A place I could lay at his feet.  A place no tear would go unnoticed and no wound would go unattended to.

This is the place I found myself in Him and found Him in myself.

How often do you allow Him to lead you back to that place?

We will never be of any value to the kingdom of God if we can't look past the facade of humanity and see God's divine creation.  The image and likeness in which we were all formed.  Wonderfully and fearfully made.  This is not to be selective but to apply to all.  There is something of worth, value, a treasure within each and everyone.

Its when this is ignored, discounted, devalued, abused or left unnurtured, that we are left to deal with the unlovely and ugly consequences that further undermined the truth.

When God deals with us, looks upon us, does he ridicule, mock, point out our shortcomings and weaknesses?  No, he illuminates the good in which he sees in us and encourages us to shoot for this standard in all aspects of our life.

We all have the same God given assignment, To love this world back to its creator.

I was standing in the kitchen this morning, putting the girls’ lunches together, reflecting on the chaos of my life. Not just hectic schedules and dealing with everyday issues but the mental and spiritual battles that result from the deep things that we like to hide, cover up or just don’t want, have time or make time to face. You know the ones that most of us keep responding to the same way over and over again but expect different results. I’m learning how to face these things this season of my life. 

Every time I chose to hit them head on, I am surprised by what I find, a sense of peace, a sense of power, and an overwhelming sense of his presence all around. I can hear him say my name, sometimes calling me, encouraging me “One more step, a little closer now, you can do this.” There’s a statement I made to myself recently that I think sums up this place I am at today. “I am not looking to be rescued, I already have a savior.” Basically what I meant by this was, I’m not crying out help get me out of this mess. I am instead acknowledging who he is and what he has already done for me.

So this morning I was talking with the Holy Spirit and he kind of challenged my thinking, my perspective a little. (On a side note, even Microsoft Word knows the importance of the Holy Spirit, shows that it should be capitalized.) Let’s just say that I am being tested from every angle these days. I was encouraging myself with the scriptures that we all know and use at these times. For instance, Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose. A thought popped into my mind or maybe it was whispered in my ear, “Does it always have to be about you?” It wasn’t haughty or judgmental, more like a fleeting thought. But it got my attention. 

 How many times do I choose to praise God because of what his word promises me or because of what “I” will get out of it? How often do I stop and recognize and just acknowledge him for who he is? Praise him for this, nothing more, nothing less, just the very fact that he is God, that he is worthy of all my praise. 

When I do this, I am telling him that my circumstance, my situation, the things that push and pull at me, they are not enough to keep me from him. He “is” all I need, what he has already done is more than enough for me. My love, my faith, my trust, my ability to surrender become limitless when I grasp this understanding, that too often I lose or allow to become overshadowed. My praise becomes selfless, my motives, pure and my heart, light. So what if things don’t go as I’d hoped or don’t change as soon as I would like, He is God and that is more than enough for me.

I feel asleep last night with a very thought provoking statement in my mind. I awoke this morning with a remembrance of this thought but could not get it to formulate in my mind once again. I asked the holy spirit to bring it to my remembrance. He did. This is that statement.

"Emotions are a powerful tool if brought under submission of the rule and reign of our King."

What follows are the thoughts that transpired from this statement.

How else can you be lead by compassion or be sensitive to the spirit? To shut down is to shut off your connection with God. You can't experience intimacy if you can't feel anything. And to be overly sensitive is to be rendered powerless. You have given away your authority.

If emotions were not meant to be an instrumental part of our lives, why have so many suffered attacks in this very area of their lives? We have to learn to control them so they do not control us. We have to bring them under submission with the truth, the word of God. Only then will we find balance and be affective or more affective in the kingdom of God.

You can't be lead by emotion and lead of the Spirit. One will always control the other.

It's not an easy lesson to learn. I'm sure everyone carries a lot of their own battle scars from this very issue. It starts out as a thought that was provoked by a feeling/emotion and if not under submission it threatens every aspect of our lives.

If things in our lives are not what we think or know they should be, then this is a great place to start and evaluate "Why do I feel the way I do?" I bet most of it, if not all, will not have any truth to it. It will not line up with His truth and what He thinks and feels about you.

The lies we believe. Why is it so much easier to believe a lie than it is the truth? And if you think that it's easier to just not feel anything at all, I'm here to tell you that the hurt and the pain that you have encountered is not greater than all the benefits of His love for you. I would rather endure hell and receive the benefits of His love for me than to not feel anything at all. His love and the benefits of it are more than worth it.

Storms of life....

The onset or presence of a storm brings/prompts anxiety and fear. We tend to concentrate on the bad, the things that promote fear. We look to assess the possible damage that may occur and we prepare an escape route. We seek higher ground. We look for our own means of shelter. We fear the elements and the disaster they may bring.

We never seem to pause and acknowledge that God knows what He's doing. That He commands and controls the elements. We fail to see the positives that come with a storm because we are to focused on the disruption it will bring to our lives.

I'm learning to welcome the storms in my life, knowing that God will sustain me. That He is wanting my attention and desires to work something in me.

Storms bring the elements of wind and rain, forceful wind and pounding rain. The kind that hurts as it comes in contact with your flesh. These two elements work together to strip away, to reveal roots and foundations. The good and the bad. Sometimes there is an uprooting that takes place. Storms cause the strong to recognize their strengths and the weak to acknowledge their weakness. They prepare the ground for new life, causing things to grow in what was once barren land. It's a time of cleansing and refreshing, a time of renewing and refilling wells that had once run dry. Storms were meant to bring change to the landscape and the atmosphere.

In His love and goodness He is causing something beautiful to be revealed. And for that reason, I will dance in the midst of the storm.

A mother's perspective...

I'm staring at a load of clean dishes in the dishwasher and I can't seem to stop the tears from flowing, this morning. Oh, the magnitude of such a simple task. You see I didn't load these nor did I wash them. But Emma, in her quiet way, chose to be moved by her love for me. She chose to let her actions speak louder than words. You see, I usually load them and she unloads because she doesn't see any value in having a system of order to complete a task. This morning everything was so meticulously placed that it was obvious she had listened to my instructions. They had taken on meaning to her now. She wasn't ordered or coaxed or even asked to complete this task.

It may seem like a small meaningless feat, but in my mind and in my heart it represents a fruition of things I've tried to instill in her. Love, respect, honor, selflessness and service. And I'm undone by this.

No good deed goes unnoticed, not even the small ones!