Who doesn't need a word of encouragement...

^{You are not alone.  Right now in the middle of whatever it is that you are facing, you.. are.. not.. alone.  There is a presence, even now, you can sense it.  Don't question it. Just welcome it.  Let it settle.  Relax into it.  He has heard your cry, even those things that you have not verbally uttered.  Don't let your mind wander.  He is there to be your comfort, not to judge.  He is there to love.  Yes, believe it.  He is not there to tell you how to live your life, unless of course you want Him to.  He is not there to tell you how you should feel.  He is there primarily, just to be with you.}

^{You might be asking, how can I be so sure? Well, because I've been praying for you.  So not only do you have God but you have me too.}

 ^{As David declared in Psalms, Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for and hope for and expect the Lord!}

^{As did Moses in Deuteronomy, The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you: he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.}

^{We find this declaration in Joshua, Jeremiah and again in Isaiah; When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.}

^{These promises are for you.  Take a small step of faith.  Acknowledge them.  God will work on the trusting and believing.} 

^{Christ has identified with you in your suffering.  He knew all too well those things that you have been feeling.  Take heart now, He suffered for you so that you might know peace and rest in all that you go through.}

^{John 12: 27}

^{Now My soul is troubled and distressed, and what shall I say?  Father, save Me from this hour [of trial and agony]?  But it was for this very purpose that I have come to this hour [that I might undergo it].}

^{And one last thing, please hear me.  You are so loved and so cared for that even your tears are not wasted, as we are reminded in Psalms 56:8.}

^{That overflowing outward expression of what is taking place on the inside is something so precious to God that He sees the need to collect them.  Not only does He see your pain and your grief but He stands there with you, in the middle of it.  He catches each tear as they slip from your face and bottles them up all because  He really does love and He really does care.}  

^{Everything you think, everything you feel, everything you experience, you release in a moment; in the form of a tear.  This is how much He cherishes you!}

Remembering....

As a young girl only five years of age, I had a heart for the world and all it held.  Africa and the mission field; all the small hands that I wanted to touch and feel; to share the love of Jesus that makes all things heal.  

Compassion was my dream.  I only wanted to be like Him.  A friend to all, one that picks you up when you fall down, that listens to all your questions, who loves with a love that drives out all your fears, who holds you close when you can't fight back the tears.  The difference I knew and understood that He made, was something I wanted to share; to give away. 

These visions never left me and at the age of 18 I set out on an journey.  I packed my bag less than a week after my high school graduation.  I boarded a plane with a bunch of strangers.  I marvel to myself, what took me so long, I loved this thing of flying.  No one would have guessed that this was my first time in the air, first time out of the country and first time this far away from home and mama and daddy.  

Africa awaited me and there was no slowing my heart down. 

Now fast forward, say 20 years later.    

I awoke this morning missing Africa.  What a strange thought.  It's been years since I really was reminded of her and how deeply she once was laid on my heart.  But everywhere I turn I keep hearing about this place and its playing once again on my heart strings.  

So I asked myself, Why?  And to this I found myself saying, God it's really You that I miss.  Seeing You in all those beautiful faces.  Being reminded of what my place is.  As a representation of what your love and your grace is. 

Then this twinge struck my heart.  God why does it take far away lands to remind me that This has always been the plan.  It doesn't start with Africa and it won't end with Africa either.  

It starts with me, daily conforming to your image, taking on your very nature.

There are needs all around me that I could walk blind to.  God, I don't want to be grieved by inadequacy, focusing on lack; for I know You and surely I know what it is to be kept.  Don't let me be foolish, make excuses and keep You to my self.  

Daily, wake me to the world around me.  Cause me to act more and more like myself.  The me you created, for such a time as this.  For Lord, you know what day it is and what plans you have made for me!  Cause me to know them as well.

Psalms 139

¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.

¹⁷ How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!^(E)

¹⁸ If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, [could I count to the end] I would still be with You.

 

When its that kind of day....

When everything that can go wrong, does.  And it is working on  that "last nerve".   Even in these moments it is possible to hear God speak.

Fear of failure.....there is no fear, for I am failing; failing miserably.  Everything seems but a distraction.  One to which I want to shout "Go away, just go away. Leave me. Let me be", but rather I hang my head and let the tears fall ever so softly.  I internalize because I do not wish to jar the feelings of a mere child.  

Why all the distractions?  Why the irritation with it all?  Why have I cursed the very things that sustain me in their own perpetual ways?  How can my joys so easily strike me like sand paper some days?  What have I removed for this equation to turn the table thus so?  Do I dare look deeper into this gray heart of mine?  

Shame on me for my ungratefulness.  This selfishness that speaks of entitlement.  Who am I?  Who am I to think such thoughts?

Psalms 51

6 Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.
15 O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Your praise.
17 My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.

God speaks in many ways.  In what appears to be our own thoughts some days.  Other days He can speak to us with a direct scripture.  This particular day I heard both.

 When God speaks so directly to my heart, I usually find myself at His feet with an offering.  This time it was a prayer.....along with a lot of tears.

Take my thoughts captive oh God, with your love, rebuke me of my trespasses.  Do not allow me to stay in this place.  Your grace provides freedom, for by which with my sacrifice of praise, I am open to receive.  Lord, God continue to teach me.

Interruptions....

Routines are necessary.  And so often their foe is an interruption.  But what if God is the culprit behind some of those interruptions?

This morning in the midst of our routine, something caught my eye.  I watched as the trees' shadows danced on the kitchen wall behind me.  It was ever so striking.  I could not draw myself away.  The way their leaves moved in rhythm with the mornings gentle breeze.  The way the sun hung just so to cast these shadows.  My heart swelled as I held back tears.   

In our home, we call these God sightings (thanks to this year's VBS "Fly").  The evidence of Him is all around us but He has a way of getting my attention with little gifts to remind me that He is there. He is always speaking and listening.  

Thank you, God, that you are teaching me a different way to be moved by interruptions.   

And to think if I had not stopped then I would have missed it.  Five minutes later this sight could no longer be seen.

Isaiah 55:12 

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.

I imagine this is what those trees where doing!

May your day, today, be full of worship for He is worthy of all!  May you be reminded that God does speak through interruptions.  And He is faithful to teach us how to slow and rightly respond to them. 

Sweetly Broken....

In one way or another, we are all broken.

This doesn't mean we are weak and always falling apart.  It's that we all have pieces missing.  Either lost or stolen.

To be sweetly broken is to have come to the knowledge that God uses our brokenness, that with His love and His care, we can grow from here.

We awaken to the awareness that we have an even deeper need for him. 

Sweetly broken is that place where we let his love shine through, allowing it to warm our numb emotions and thaw out our  frozen heart.  It's where we learn to smile in the midst of pain.  Give him our praise and learn what it is to truly be thankful.

When nothing goes as planned, understanding has long since passed, God's providence is sought from a trusting gaze rather than a hand, reaching, extended; when we are sweetly broken.

This is the place of great discernment; soul and spirit can not be confused because only peace can be heard in one that is sweetly broken.

So often our hearts have been used, abused, and badly beaten.   Believe it or not, there is such a thing as healing.  The anger, bitterness, resentment, scorn and the need to get even must be surrendered. 

I know that sounds like a lot to ask; surrendering that which you do have a right to feel, but God desires to replace those feelings with a tangible measure of His love, His presences and His power.  Experiencing those three things far out weigh anything you could have hoped on receiving from the ones that have inflicted your pain. 

What He has to offer you, nothing else on earth can begin to compare too.

Sweetly broken is a place where you and I are safe to work through all of our issues, to tell God how we really feel with the understanding that at the end of the day, His thoughts and feelings have not changed. 

We are Loved. Wanted.  And this Love is Real!  Oh so much better than any fairytale you or I could have concocted!

Because I said so....

We all know that as a child the given response to the question "Why", was one time too many "Because I said so.".  It was never the response we desired. 

For me it served to be an invaluable lesson in trust and acceptance.  And today, in my shortcomings, my failures, my unbelief, and all my questioning; I'm hearing this once more. 

Why trust?   Why accept?  His love.  His promises.  To this, He gently whispers,

"Because I said so.  

I have written you a book that proclaims my love and the depth of it.  

I have sought you out and continue to pursue you.  

I take every opportunity to demonstrate the degree in which you move Me.  

You must know that you are LOVED.  WANTED.  

Need you any further explanation?  

Why not trust Me."

The hardest struggle to accepting and trusting is the contradicting lies of deception.  The deep seeded words or actions that have left gaping wounds.  Wounds that leave us trembling, broken and in shattered pieces spread about the floor.  I know you know them.  You can name them and probably remember just when they pierced you.

We pick up the pieces, realign them, try to make them fit.  But like any vessel that's ever been broken, as with clay, there is no such thing as a clean break.  There are jagged edges and slivers that seem to have just disappeared.  The vessel is damaged, not beyond repair.  Repairs however will never restore the vessel back to its intended use.  It will never be filled without leaking.  

This leaves us with only two options.  Reconstruction or Deconstruction with the intent of rebuilding.  Either result in the same outcome.  

A NEW CREATION.  

We must give God permission, trusting in His abilities as an Artist, famous for His passion and the most tender of hands; accepting He really does know His craft.  We are in need.  Filled with so much longing, to experience sweet relief from these depths of our despair.  

Freedom comes with our response to trusting and accepting God's love that has always been there.

Forget about the process.  He's got that covered.  Just be still and know that you are LOVED and WANTED!

 
The link below offers a free download of the song in the above video. 
http://www.joannamay.org/audio/heather-clark/i-am-loved

Do what only You can do...

I know you are here, but sometimes I wonder where are you in all of this.  The question on the tip of my tongue, the one that surfaces when these tears begin to fall, the one I know you know is coming because....because we have found our rhythm; our sync.  Here it is, God what more are you desiring to remove from me?  

I know the hot tears that fall from a heart split wide open in a sense of loss or grieve, yet know no sting because of the oil you gladly administer; that I recognize as your love for me.  This is the refiners fire to a heart that is surrendered, not just willing to let Him consume all of me but one that has voiced a desire that He leave nothing to remain that does not serve His purposes for all of my days.  

In flashes, this moment makes sense to me.  Precept upon precept, line upon line; how collectively your words to me all have intertwined.  So I will welcome this fire and the beauty of things refined.